Is now reading...

Thoughts: I've been looking for love.. I need to love myself and be happy with me

What to remember, what to forget, what to learn

Pray

I guess I finally had my wake up call, my break down, my realization that I couldn't do this alone. For so long I convinced myself I can handle everything, fix everything, I can put the pieces back together and be just fine. After all I believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I didn't fix anything I spent all my time and efforts in trying to cover up and hide everything. The pain I didn't know how to deal with just became and unseen part of me. My only comfort was my thoughts reminding me "I'm OK" when I never was. Now I'm left socially awkward and left with many fears. I don't want to be this person I've become.. This is not the life I want to live. There's so much more inside of me waiting to be seen and heard. I don't want to be fake, I don't want to be who I think others want me to be. I wish changes happened over night but that's not always the case. I'm stronger than I know, I'm smarter than I know. I should have never been afraid to take off my jacket.. afraid to speak.. afraid to ask questions.. I can never get my childhood back. The little memories that I keep are the good ones. The little blessings here and there. But like many others mostly there's just a BLANK.

Proud mom, Beautiful,Creative, Loving, Smart, Funny at times, Giving, Caring...