
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
...
I'm glad to be anything other than you I'm happy with just being me I'm not too hot but not too cold I'm not too young but not too old I smile when I'm happy
Is now reading...

What to remember, what to forget, what to learn
Pray
I guess I finally had my wake up call, my break down, my realization that I couldn't do this alone. For so long I convinced myself I can handle everything, fix everything, I can put the pieces back together and be just fine. After all I believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I didn't fix anything I spent all my time and efforts in trying to cover up and hide everything. The pain I didn't know how to deal with just became and unseen part of me. My only comfort was my thoughts reminding me "I'm OK" when I never was. Now I'm left socially awkward and left with many fears. I don't want to be this person I've become.. This is not the life I want to live. There's so much more inside of me waiting to be seen and heard. I don't want to be fake, I don't want to be who I think others want me to be. I wish changes happened over night but that's not always the case. I'm stronger than I know, I'm smarter than I know. I should have never been afraid to take off my jacket.. afraid to speak.. afraid to ask questions.. I can never get my childhood back. The little memories that I keep are the good ones. The little blessings here and there. But like many others mostly there's just a BLANK.
Proud mom, Beautiful,Creative, Loving, Smart, Funny at times, Giving, Caring...



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